Clomid Cycle 2

Well, we didn't get pregnant. The day I was going to test, AF showed up. It was pretty disappointing, but the nurse at the office didn't seem too concerned, she said it usually take a few tries. Thus, I started the Clomid again. Today is day 8 and I had my ultrasound. I have to trigger on Sunday and do IUI on Tuesday. The bad news is that after this cycle we'll do one more and then have to decided between injectible drugs or IVF. With the injectible meds there is an increased probability of triplets, but it's much cheaper than IVF. The plus side of IVF is that we can control the number of embryos and thus we are much less likely to get triplets or more. DH and I will have to decide what we want to do.

Well, DH liked the iPod. I had to figure out how to work it, since Apple doesn't give very detailed instructions. They make it pretty difficult to figure out their products.

I'm just so worried that the Clomid won't work, and I'm afraid that DH will want to put off havinig kids until after anesthesia school if we have to go with IVF. I really don't want to do that, and I'm afraid that if we wait, it might get less probable that we'll get pregnant. I'm already 31 and I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, I'm worried that it might get worse.

Oh well, I guess I need to focus ono this cycle and making it work. Till next tiime!!

The Wait......

Now I'm just waiting. It takes everything in me to not take a pregnancy test. I have to wait until Saturday, which doesn't sound like too long (just five days), but is taking forever. I'm afraid to be hopeful about this most recent try, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard.

The wait is driving me crazy!! I'm just trying to distract myself until Saturday. I'm shopping for DH's christmas gift. I think I've settled on an iPod, but now I'm debating between the 4GB nano or the 30GB one. I guess it's just $40 difference, but I'm not sure which one DH will like better. Maybe I'll buy the bigger one and let him return it if he wants the smaller one. I have to also shop for my two nephews, I already bought stuff for my three nieces and one nephew, but I'm waiting to find out what the other two boys want.

I have to work two more night shifts tommorow and Wed night. I'm not looking forward to it, and I'm trying to prepare myself by sleeping in in the morning and taking a nap in the afternoon today. Only two more left to go!!

IUI

Well, I had my ultrasound on Friday and the Doc saw two large (>2cm) follicles, one on each ovary. He decided to have me trigger that day and do the insemination the next day (Saturday). DH and I went home and I had to give myself a subcutaneous shot of the HCG to trigger ovulation. I give shots every day, but to other people. I sat on the couch for several minutes with the needle poised above my stomach trying to inject it, I gave up and asked DH to do it, but he looked pretty uncertain with the needle, and hadn't ever given a shot before, so I just gave it to myself. It was really tough! The next day DH went to the clinic early in the morning and provided his sample, then I went in and got the IUI. It hurt, like a really bad pap smear. I laid down for 10 minutes and then was free to go. So, now I get to wait and see what happens.

Ultrasound Tommorow

Well, I took all my Clomid, and had surprisingly little abdominal tenderness whiich I had the last few times I took it. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it is. I do however have the over sensitivity to anything sappy or sad on TV. I watched Big Fat Greek Wedding and cried, I watched Judging Amy and cried, everything I watch on TV makes me cry.

I have my ultrasound tommorow morning, then Saturday we're having our Christmas party at our house, which is going to be bigger than we had thought, but hopefully will be fun. I just hope that they see a nice big follicle and that we can trigger ovulation and do the IUI mid next week so that I don't have to call off work.

Although, I don't know that I'd mind having an extra day off work, but I know that staffinig has been bad this week since they called me this morning to see if I wanted to pick up an extra shift. Any other day, I would have, but yesterday was so terrible that I just couldn't face going in to work at all! I was charge (the charge nurse deals with deciding when admissions come into the unit, assigning them rooms, doing the assignments for the next shift, and answering any questions that the other nurses either don't know the answer to, or just don't have the time to deal with) However, the charge nurse has patients too, which are supposed to be light patients, but in the ICU the status of our patients changes from minute to minute. We were also coding three patients simultaniously throughout the day. (a code is cardiac or respiratory arrest, where we try to re-start the heart with drugs or with shocks, and by the way, we don't use paddles anymore like you see on ER, we have pads that stick to the patient and we just push a button on the machine that delivers the shock, it's much less dramatic than it looks on TV). So, I had my hands full yesterday and a patient that was extremely time consuming and was charge, so it pretty much sucked yesterday.

I just hope this cycle works....

The Clomid Begns Again.

Well, today is day 3 and it's time to start the Clomid. I scheduled my ultrasound for the 8th. The good news is that they said I would probably only need one ultrasound and they could predict based on the size of the follicles when to tell me to give myself the trigger shot. Hopefully I won't have to call off work at all for this cycle. If I'm really lucky I'll be working the day they tell me to take the trigger shot and I can get one of my co-workers to shoot me up with the hcg (I can stick anyone else with a needle, but I can't stick myself and DH gets nauseous when the word needle is mentioned). I'm really excited about this cycle, I hope it works.

The only bump in the road is that I was accepted to the Nurse Anesthetist program. If I get pregnant this cycle I'll deliver before the program begins, but if I don't and get pregnant on another cycle, I'll probably have to defer my admission (if they let me) to the next year. Some of this sounds pretty good since I'm scared to death of starting the program. I'm already stressed working in the ICU and I have so much responsibility there, it's really scary to take on more. I guess whatever is best will happen. I just hope I can handle it.

Well, I have to get going to pick up my drugs and start avoiding any type of emotional content on the TV so I don't start crying.