Injects #2

AF showed up, I was so hopeful last month. I felt cramping and a kind of wierd feeling in my abdomen, and thought AF was showing, but nothing came, it continued for several days, and I started thinking maybe I actually was pregnant. I kept reminding myself not to get excited, not to hope, and it turns out that I was right not to get my hopes up. AF showed up, and ended the hope. It was only one follicle, so I shouldn't be surprised, but it was awful. So, I got my baseline ultrasound, which surprisingly showed non overstimulated ovaries. So I got the go ahead for injects cycle 2. This time I'm using 150units of the Follistim.

So, on day 8 (yesterday) I got my second ultrasound, and I expected to hear that I needed to do the IUI Friday, but instead the Dr. said that I have several smaller follicles and he said to continue with the injects and get another ultrasound on Friday, he thinks I'll do the IUI on Monday. Of course, both of these appointments are on days I'm scheduled to work, so I switched with another nurse, so I'm off Friday and work Sat, and I'm off Monday, but work Thursday. I'm going to talk to my manager to see what the best way to handle any other cycles because I can't take off in the middle of the day or come in late or leave early since I work from 7am to 7pm (really more like 830pm).

Well, yesterday after my ultrasound which showed small follicles, I had been noticing some cramping on my right lower abdomen, along with something that felt kind of like bladder spasms. Well, it got worse when I was on my way to my IV pump inservice, and got really bad during the inservice, so much so that I called the Dr's office, they said that I could come in for another ultrasound, but that since my follicles were small, it was probably not hyperstimulation, and that since I'm kind of small, it's probably just the side effects. So I sucked it up, and promised to call if it got worse. then I threw up the milkshake I had just eaten. Fortunately, after going home, drinking some water, and taking a nap on a heating pad, I felt better. I'm still feeling kind of crampy and sore, but not like yesterday.

This cycle we're using frozen sperm, DH is out of town this week and next week. It sucks, but it's better than cancelling the cycle. I just so want a baby, I know I'm obsessing, but I've never wanted something this much, or been so afraid of not being able to suceed if I just put enough effort into it. I'm so afraid of trying all of this, and doing everything, and not being able to have a baby.